Staring
by HermioneM
Summary: Hermione remembers her first kiss with Ron as she watches him play chess. Pure fluff. Written for the RH drive at Checkmated. Please rr


**A/N-** Hey! Have you seen the Harry Potter and the PoA movie yet?? Have you?? If you haven't, then go! It's great, Cuarón really did do a great job.  Loved it.

Meanwhile, I'm having a serious author's block with Haunting Past, plus I'm dealing with finals. So, while I deal with that, I give you this little piece of sweet fluff for your enjoyment.  Hope you like it.  Don't forget to leave a review.

Btw… also go and check Shrek 2 out. Awesome.

_"P.S.: I love you like in a song." _Sam to Lucy in I am Sam

I know I've been staring at you for long, but you're just so entertaining.  I love the way you just pretend that you don't know I'm watching you and keep playing chess, moving nervously and the tips of your ears are just the faintest shade of red. 

Now Harry's got your pawn and he's smirking.   So, it's nice to know that I can still make you nervous.  Really nice.

So. Harry's got your pawn.  And now you turn to me slightly annoyed and you try to make me think that you are a little mad but I know you're not.  You're almost smiling.

And you ask what am I looking now, and I say that I'm looking at you.  You blush.  Harry makes a funny noise with his throat as if he's trying not to laugh. No, not as if. He's trying not to laugh and I know that when you look at him and see his smirk bigger you're going to blush even harder. 

There… there you go.  Ears and all.  I love it when you blush.

You tell Harry to shut up and you take his queen down.  Harry doesn't smile anymore.

You keep playing chess and I try to read, but then the letters _a_'s are so round and the _i_'s so slim and the _r'_s just keep me reminding me of you, and the fact that you are sitting so close to me.

So I stare again.

And after a while you feel my gaze on you, and this time you don't pretend you don't notice and turn and ask what _am_ I looking at.

But this time I just smile.  I smile, and you make this funny thing with your lips that you do when you are sort of desperate but you are not mad. And I just _love_ that thing you do with your lips.

So I can't help it when I lean closer to you and give you a quick peck on the lips.

And Harry can't help it either, I guess, when he can't swallow his laughter and it comes out of him. 

And you can't help it either, I know, when you blush but this time really bad, and you almost look the same shade than your hair.  And you can't help it either, I would like to think, when a small but sure smile creeps up through your beautiful lips, and I just love them.

You ask what was that for, and I just shrug and remember the first time you kissed me.

We were sitting here in the Common Room, almost as we are now, only that Harry wasn't here because he was with Snape.

So.  We were sitting here alone and you stared at me like I was staring at you a while ago, but I was used to it now, because we always stared at each other.

Only today, and in this particular time, I wasn't in a good mood.  And besides, I was really falling in love with you and that game was getting old.

So. I turned and snapped and told you to stop staring.

You looked shocked, then hurt, then embarrassed and finally angry. 

I almost forgot that I was in a bad mood because it was so funny to see you change _your _moods so quickly.  Almost.

You said fine, snapping as well, and turned away, and you pretended to read that old Quidditch magazine that you always read.  You know the one. In which the Cannons were champions so many years ago, the one Bill had to trade for some old boots and you keep it like it's gold and I love the way you just treasure it so much.  Because, I know, despite you always tell people you treasure it because it's the one number when the Cannons won, I _know_ it's because your brother gave it to you. 

So. I was thinking about that when something struck in my head. It was the fact that I told you to stop staring and you just said fine. You _just_ said fine. But you didn't deny it.  All those other times when I caught you staring or you caught me staring and you asked what, or so did I, we both always said nothing, or made out some stupid excuse or whatever.

But this time, you said fine.

As in, fine, I'll stop staring.

So. I took a deep breath and bit my lip and thought that I had to be in Gryffindor for some reason. 

And I asked you if you _were_ staring at me.

And you rolled your eyes and told me that I had just told you to stop doing that.  So yes.

And then, and let me say that took even more courage, then I asked you _why_ had you been staring at me.

That's the part when you looked taken aback.  You asked what and I repeated my question.

And there was a moment when I wished I hadn't said anything, because you looked scared and I thought that you would stand up and run away or something.

But you didn't.  Strangely, suddenly you smiled, and you told me that honestly, you didn't know, that you liked doing it. That you liked staring at me. I hope you still do.

But anyway, that's when I blushed. You see, I almost never blush. There are very few occasions when I blush, and you are the only one who can manage it.

But there I blushed.

I blushed and asked what, and then you did what I had done before and repeated. And I didn't know what to say, so I just said oh. Then I cursed myself, of course, because that was a really lame thing to say and afterwards Ginny told me all these witty lines I could've answered. But at the time I couldn't think of any. So I said oh.

And then it was awkward. It was awkward because maybe you expected some sweet answer or some clever line or whatever, but you see, with you, I am not clever.  The proof of it is that if I was clever when it comes to you, I would've told you a lot sooner how I felt.  But I didn't.  So when it comes to you, I lose my brains.  And my mind.  And everything. 

So you looked at me as if expecting me to say something, but I didn't. And you kept looking, but not staring, you were waiting for something and I really wanted to give it to you, you know, whatever it was that you were expecting.  But really, you know that I have never been very good at these things.  When it comes to us, _you_ are the clever one.

So.  You kept waiting and the seconds kept growing larger and the butterflies in my stomach were born and died and born again, I'm sure, of all the time that passed. 

And finally, _finally_, you asked why did I.

I looked at you, confused, and asked why did I what.  You rolled your beautiful blue eyes that I had grown to know so well, even better that Harry's green eyes (and I know them _very_ well, because Ginny is always telling me that they have this sparks of brown around and sort of blue in the middle. I don't know if it's really _that_ true, Ginny told me.), you rolled your eyes and told me why did I always stare at you.

And then you did it again! You made me blush again. That made twice in less than ten minutes.  It must have been a record, even for you.

And I gave you a small shrug and told you that I liked imagining what you were thinking.

And I mean, it wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the complete _true_, either. I _did_ like to imagine what you thought, I still do, but I also liked to stare at you because you are beautiful. Not as in cute -- which you _are_! -- but as in beautiful for being you, just you, and the way you worry and laugh and exist and just _are_, that's the way in which you are beautiful.

But I couldn't tell you that.

And then you looked a little hurt, and almost disappointed.  And that made me sad.

You asked me if that was all.

And then, I don't know why, I shrugged and told you yes, that was all.  And slapped myself mentally.

And you looked at me and this time I'm sure you really looked angry. But you also looked very hurt.  And I swear I never want to see that look in your eyes ever again.  It made my heart stop and sink to my feet, and it made my body freeze and I wanted to cry because it was my fault and I hated the fact that I was so much of a coward.

And then you nodded and said you were tired and wanted to go to bed, and it was probably true because it was very late, but I didn't believe it because we always waited until Harry came back whatever the hour.

But this time you said you were off to sleep and stood up.  And I knew that if I didn't say something you would be gone and I would have missed my chance all because of my pride.

So.  You were almost reaching the stairs and gone when I reacted. 

And I told you to wait. And you stopped and I sighed in relief. But you just stopped. You didn't turn or anything.

And I took a deep breath and tried to talk or something, but I couldn't.  I heard you exhale in desperation and I got even more nervous.  Then you turned, but you looked really angry and annoyed and said that if I wanted to say something, to say it because you were tired.  And I didn't know if you meant tired of the day, as in wanting to go to bed, or you were tired of this games that we used to play.

I was tired of playing games.

So I said I liked staring at you too. I liked to see you. 

And then you unfroze and walked quickly back to where I was and stopped right in front of me and kneeled down so your face was just in front of mine.  And my heart started beating faster and I had to look away.

But then you went beyond and asked why.  And without looking at you, because I was so aware of your nearness, I asked you why what.   And you said why I liked staring at you.

And that took me off guard, so I turned to look at you, but then I found your face closer than I remembered it being.  And I tried to pull back but I couldn't.

I was trapped in your eyes.

And I half remember you muttering my name and I asked you what. But didn't say anything else, nor answer your question.

And I saw you take a deep breath, because your chest rose and then returned to the normal size.  And you opened your mouth and then closed it again, as if you were trying to say something, and I kept wishing that you'd stop doing that.

And finally you said that you were about to do something, and you sounded very serious, that you were about to do something and that it would make everything different afterwards, but you didn't know if it would be in a good way or in a bad way, so I should probably go now, because you couldn't.

But I couldn't seem to move.  And I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off your face.  And I didn't want to either. 

So I told you that.  That I didn't want to go.  So I guess you took this as some kind of permission, and I saw the determination in your eyes and you nodded.  And I knew this was finally the moment I had been waiting for.

And you leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.  Sweet and innocent.  You lingered there for a moment, though, not as quick as the one I gave you just a moment ago. You lingered there for a second and then pulled back and looked at me.

And you were smiling.  And your smile made me smile.

So when you ask again what was that for, and when I remember that we are still here and I see Harry looking at me strangely, I smile and say it was a thank you kiss.

A thank you for just being you, and being beautiful and giving me that first kiss.

Because I love to kiss you ever since as much as I love you.

**A/N-  So**? How did you guys like it?? Please review.  You'll make my day.


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